PLAY IT COOL

As you must know I’m living in the big apple, I was told that here my professional life as entertainment would begin. Hey, living in New York isn’t as easy and glamorous as it looks. I figured I’d be discovered at some point, I’m still waiting. Before came here I should have a back up plan, but I didn’t, I assured myself that I was going to succeed (yep, it wasn’t true, obviously). I came to NY unprepared, and thinking I could babysitting for one year on the process to get my independence and my F1, I didn’t know a soul who lived here (except for the American family I met online, with them I would be living) I know crazy, but one thing at a time.

I’d been paid a decent amount for take care of kids, but every cent I made has to last until the next week, I don’t get comfortable (remember I’m in NY, everything is crazy expensive) I have to stretch that paycheck.

My personal life is not either as I imagined, I go to art galleries, celebrities interviews, preview screening, broadways and off-broadways shows, but, hey, I’m alone, there are days, that I freak out and stay in my room a lot, I read a book or write, some days I feel artistic and draw. I spend most of my time trying to find ways to occupy myself without spending money.

In some of the events that I attend, I manage to strike up a conversation with people in the audience, all depends of the kind of event or play or film; I can find all kinds of people, funny, interesting, a little annoying, but in my case, anyone is welcome to have a chat, I don’t care if I don’t see them again (I just want a small talk), I’m desperate for human company. So I try to play it cool.

I tried to keep in touch with my friends from home, but they all seem to be busy, graduating, marrying, hitting in their career, even some having children. I would call them and feel destroyed by loneliness, and the same is happening with my family.

You know, I’m not a good drinker; I think I drink just to feel like I’m doing something. I have a friend in New York that I almost never see him, but he is here, I keep in touch, so, he invite me to hang up with his friends (play it cool, again). And he is not the only one whom welcomes me to go out; I never say no, the problem is all those people are older than me, then, it’s the feeling I don't quite belong there. Look, whatever it is, it’s keep me distracted from the overwhelming uncertainty of my professional life.

I really don’t know how long time I will be able to live here, or if someday I will make it in New York City, perhaps I need to go back to Mexico for good. Dude for now I’m a New Yorker---Play it cool.

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